How to NOT get yourself upgraded

[baklava]

Okay, I'm tired of all you noobs IMing me asking me to upgrade you. I can't even do that in the first place, and you'll just be getting -rep from me if you do. So, here's some quick tips on how to stay in the shark pool forever or possibly be banned. If any moderator or admin wants to contribute, feel free to edit this post and do so.

NOTE: These directions mark the exact opposite of what you should be doing, in case you were too dumb to figure that out.






1. Don't use correct punctuation. Actually, just don't use punctuation at all. Spelling doesn't matter, and use obnoxious acronyms. Also, use "lol" or a similar acronym as many times in a sentence as you can.
lol i meen no 1 liks it rite evr1 wl thnk ur so kewl if u typ lik dis lol

2. Post replies that are completely irrelevant to the original topic, or are just useless, such as "Okay." or "LOL!" or "kthx" or "HAY DID U HEAR ABT TAHT OEN THING!11?" Everyone wants more posts, right?

3. Post a stupid thread in the Serious Discussion board. No one is serious here anyway.

4. In serious discussion, reply with an opinion but never say why you support it. it's
just a waste of everyone's time reading it.

5. Have an incredibly long, obnoxious, or page-stretching sig. Bigger is always better.

6. Speak in all caps or alternating caps. It'll draw everyone's attention. JuSt LoOk At
HoW Im TyPinG!111 I'VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION ALREADY, SEE?

7. Always speak in leet. 3\/3|2'/0|\|3 |_0\/35 |234|)||\|6 3\/3|2'/ 9057 |_13|< 7|-|15!1!!1!11111oneshifteleventy!1

8. Make most of your replies consist of "Ur fkin ghey," "suck cock you mofo," "STFU," "THIS SITE SUCKS ASS," "i h8 u!11," or something to a close extent.

9. Post and ask for cracks, spl0itz, hacking tools, etc. and brag about how you're a hacker because you use such tools.

10. Mess with the mods and admins as much as you can, and for bonus points, say something negative about the quality of the site, how yours is better, and how you'll hack it to prove your point. They'll just love it.

11. Do not ASK to be upgraded. Seriously. It's getting old. If I see one more thread like this... I'm letting the sofa eat this bunny...

If you are worthy, you WILL be upgraded./ If you ask to be it will be consdered spam and you will be condemmned to decompose in this tank for eternity...
...with no shrimp pellets.

-Chordie Leforge
12. Rune is master overlord of these forums. Kageoni is his henchman. Welcome. Someone will make sure to flame some of you at one point or another. Its nothing personal Enjoy your stay. -Skyflyer
13. If you want to be upgraded, post mainly in Serious Discussion, and join the IRC. Don't have an IRC client? Then you're probably not 1337, and we don't give a crap about you anymore.



please also note this thread as a way to avoid being flamed:
http://www.1337.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19089

[Napalm]

GG Baklava. How long were you working on this?

[baklava]

A while.

Wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out, I just basically pointed out what annoys me most about the noobs in the shark pool.

[semiavrage]

That pretty much covers it ^_^... but if we can't get them to read the stickies... oh well.

[JJAGoodfella]

Here's one.

Waltz into the Sharkpool like a cocky asshole, thinking your tough shit. You people mean nothing around here until you've proven yourselves worthy.

[Darkraptor]

Here's one.

Waltz into the Sharkpool like a cocky asshole, thinking your tough shit. You people mean nothing around here until you've proven yourselves worthy.

ya thats annoying too, but only a couple of people have done that.

[Mastaninjapirate]

Glorious, Baklava. +

11. Whether you're female or not, post an intro thread advertising the fact. (I.E. LOL IM A GURL!!! Wats a PC???? *^_^* ) Everyone will love you.

11. Be sure to mention your genitalia at least once in every post you make ever. People like to know these things.

12. Find the image you want as your sig and paste it with every single post instead of setting as your signature (heh, had to say it).

13. Try to make your posts as illegible as you can. I mean who really cares what you have to say?

[0tacon]

14, make dame sure your sig is lethal to epileptic people and make sure it takes at least 1 minute to load

[ZoSo]

LEMONPARTY

It's relevent.

[Crispy]

Be sure to ell everyone what level your character in Runescape is, because Runescape is the most elite game on the planet.

[butterballs]

*takes notes*

[semiavrage]

*takes notes*

2. Post replies that are completely irrelevant to the original topic, or are just useless, such as "Okay." or "LOL!" or "kthx" or "HAY DID U HEAR ABT TAHT OEN THING!11?" Everyone wants more posts, right?

Yuo phail.

[Generation Kill]

700k /\/\3 4 \/\/h1l3 70 1234|) 7H47 1337!

[iLazz 2.0]

Krista is cute.

[hooligan333]

I think it'd be better to label this as serious advice. Anyone foolish enough to follow it obviously wouldn't stand much of a chance anyway.

[00010001man]

umm i now im a noob any fool who can read can see that as my status. but i did have a question as to what the "add to rep" button??? ive been on other chat boards before but those only rate by # of posts so i dont know really what im doing here yet. Im 1337 and ive proven that before and i hope to prove it to you (all of you) as well.


Thank you for your time

[JEFFK]

1. Don't use correct punctuation. Actually, just don't use punctuation at all. Spelling doesn't matter, and use obnoxious acronyms. Also, use "lol" or a similar acronym as many times in a sentence as you can.
lol i meen no 1 liks it rite evr1 wl thnk ur so kewl if u typ lik dis lol

vry kul w? 2 nt hv 2 typ 2 mny ltrs bc dis cn b vry tuff f u r rtrdd lyk meh jst leev out as mny ltrs as u cn n dnt use pncttn t dsnt mttr hw stpd t luks r hw tuff t is 2 ndrstnd

[thedoors]

First of all do you realize this thread is fkin OLD?
And its not funny to speak like that. (except when avarik does it xD)
Keep talking(or posting to old threads) like that and you will never see the main boards.

[Rab]

I love it when main board noobs come down to the SP and swing their cocks around.

[Avarik]

my pp is enormous