Omegle chats

[MaudKip]

Stranger: sup.
You: Oh not much, how are you?
Stranger: Im well
You: Awesome Opossum
Stranger: i like harry potter
Stranger: cant wait for the new movie!
You: As do I. :O
You: Idk if I want to see the movie though
Stranger: im going to do a bunch of drugs and watch it the night it comes out
You: Oh wow, you are awesome. That sounds fucking fun as shit. : D
You: Are you serious?
Stranger: of course?
You: ^________^
You: What drugs do you do?
Stranger: shit all of em
You: :[ Oh.
You: That sucks
Stranger: female?
You: Nope
Stranger: oh shit
You: lorofl
You: You male then?
Stranger: does this make us gay?
You: I think so
You: should we wander off?
Stranger: prob
You: Okay
You: peace

-------------------------------

You: Hello stranger
Stranger: heyyy
Stranger: whats your name
You: Brian, what is yours?
Stranger: shaniqua
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--------------------------------

You: Do you like 4chan?
Stranger: do you knjow who bon jovi is?
Stranger: and yes
You: Yes I do
You: and 4chan is aids
You: gfd
You: why is this place filled with /b/tards?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-------------------------------

You: http://www.1337.com/
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--------------------------------

Stranger: hey
You: Hello do you like sawdust?
Stranger: asl pls
You: 19 f secret
Stranger: haha where is secret
You: The secret is
You: I AM A UY
You: GUY
Stranger: kool bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Loli]

Stranger: hey
You: You're a winner!
Stranger: wooo
Stranger: what did i win
You: sorry but drug tests are mandatory
Stranger: damnit
You: its ok you can still have a prize
You: its just not as good
Stranger: is it ok if i use someone else's urine?
You: only if its a 9 year old girls urine and you give it to me
Stranger: the urine has to be 9 years old?
Stranger: or the girl
You: has to be from a 9 year old girl
Stranger: damn well
Stranger: i guess im out of luck
You: you could just give me the girl too
You: that would be fine
You: the you could get the grand prize!
You: your name will go down in history as one of the universes best heroes
Stranger: jesus the universe?
You: yeah
Stranger: how does that even work
Stranger: think about it
You: We're going to introduce large amounts of mass into the sun while we launch a probe in the opposite direction that constantly sends out your name as a radio signal
You: hopefully when the sun implodes the resulting explosion will launch your probe's signal into faster than light travel
You: or just obscure it
You: thats a risk I think you sohuld take
Stranger: yea but the maximum speed of information propagation is limited to the point where it will never reach the entire universe
Stranger: o ok
Stranger: hm
Stranger: i like the way you think
You: indeed
Stranger: you also like the way you think?
You: as long as we get the signal moving faster than the universe is expanding
You: you should be set
You: I like the way I think when I'm dropping acid
Stranger: but isnt the universe the medium by which the information travels?
You: yes but thankfully its not proportional
You: we might even get a signal to hop to a different universe
You: then your name will echo in the halls of the multiverse
Stranger: o so i get more than one universe?
Stranger: niice
Stranger: all of this
Stranger: for a 9 year old human female child?
You: yep pretty much
Stranger: economically that is one hell of a deal but morally and ethically well
You: but there is always the downside that none of this works you go to jail for child trafficing
Stranger: risk to reward ratios
You: Yep, you have to take your chances now before it becomes a socialist economy
Stranger: o wait
Stranger: we overlooked something
Stranger: wouldnt destroying the sun cause the destruction of the earth?
You: Yes but your memory will remain immortal
Stranger: how would we know we would all be dead
You: you will be the only rememnant of a once alright civilization
Stranger: well
Stranger: i wouldnt say alright
Stranger: i mean we did blow up our own sun
You: We could lie
You: say crazy aliens did it
Stranger: ok now you're just being silly
You: the only thing left will be whats on the probe
Stranger: you know theres no such thing as aliens
You: no one will know the truth!
Stranger: unless they have a time machine
You: ... shit
You: hopefully the gravitational distortions in the area would disrupt such time traveling
Stranger: right the gravity waves would interrupt the precise quantum fiddling that is required for time travel
You: as long as they don't have the ability to disrupt cross dimensional gravitation waves
You: that would really suck
Stranger: you know what this is going to cause more problems than it is worth
You: yeah seriously
Stranger: im going to travel forward in time and tell myself not to go through with it
You: I'm going to travel back in time and tell myself to stop giving out prizes for children
Stranger: alright and we'll meet back around now?
Stranger: ok its done
You: theres some really bad news
You: you were the 2nd winner
Stranger: uh oh
Stranger: theres not such thing as 2nd winner
Stranger: or 1st loser =(
Stranger: only*
You: there is if I have more than one prize
You: I figured I could get a bunch of girls for the price of just blowing up the sun once
You: and then send out alot of probes
You: thankfully thanks to time travel this masterful plan has been diverted
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: does that violate causality
You: hopefully not
You: I like the space time continuum the way it is
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[MaudKip]

Haha, that guy was awesome. :3

[leadpumper]

I have been doing Omegle chats for so long.

Here's a tip for a good Omegle chat log:

The first thing you say should be "I fucked your dogs" or something along those lines. You either get an immediate disconnect, or a troll like yourself.

[MaudKip]

Lol, I was already doing stuff like that.

[Loli]

You: niipah~
Stranger: im from miami bitch
You: are you unknown?
Stranger: yea\\
You: sup :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You asshole.


You: south east asian countries will rule the world
You: in the trafficing of little children
Stranger: do you know kim bum from korea?
You: I know jew blue the jigaboo from wallakazu
You: Do you know the who of whos?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[MaudKip]

You: I fucked your dogs
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: no fu
You have disconnected.

--------------------------

You: I fucked your dogs
Stranger: what
You: learn to read
Stranger: that is not nice
You: I'm sorry.
Stranger: i am 12 years old and what is this
Stranger: i dont even
You: You are a liar, and I would expose myself to you
You: WAIT A MINUTE!!
You: LDC
You: or /b/tard?
Stranger: you are the cancer killing /b/
You: /b/ is shit
Stranger: ▲
▲▲
You: Fuck 4chan
Stranger: fuck u
You: Lol fail
Stranger: newfags cant triforce
You: 4chan is full of script kiddies and aids
Stranger: no aids
Stranger: only cancer
You: yes aids
Stranger: and jews
You: 4chan died 5 years ago
You: move on /b/
Stranger: fuck you
You: lolol
Stranger: ima 404 your ass
You: Do it
Stranger: be careful what you wish for
You: DO IT
Stranger: ill fucking do it man
Stranger: i got your IP alrady
You: I am not falling for this
You: You fail
Stranger: no U
You: me?>
Stranger: YES U FAIL
You: me?
Stranger: U
You: me?
Stranger: U
You: THE GAME!
Stranger: NO
Stranger: FFFFFUUUUUUU
You: lololololol
Stranger: …………………………………………""-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-""
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…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
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……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o??'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''?o?'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
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……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?''*^-""
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You: Haha, you win copypasta
Stranger: no its OC
Stranger: i typed it by hand
You: I believe you, because it is believeable
You: really
Stranger: enjoy your aids
You: Oh fuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Notice he pwned himself with the triforce. I lol'd.

[unknown]

You: niipah~
Stranger: im from miami bitch
You: are you unknown?
Stranger: yea\\
You: sup :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You asshole.

I'm not from miami >:[

[Loli]

Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: whats up?
You: do ya like dags?
Stranger: wtf?
You: dags
You: do ya like dags?
Stranger: wtf is that?
You: you know...
You: dag
You: s
Stranger:
Stranger: is that short for something ??!?!?
You: no
Stranger: i dont know what that is
You: dags gfd
Stranger: mkay...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[MaudKip]

Stranger: So why havent we had sex yet?
You: Hmm
You: good questioon
You: Tell me
Stranger: Is it because of the stained wifebeater I always wear?
You: I don't think so
You: I am wearing the same thing. : O
Stranger: Loose fitting track pants?
You: Oh no, I am not Italian
Stranger: Well what are you then?
You: German. :O
You: And horny.
You: f me in da a
Stranger: Oh so you will be wearing the vodka soaked coveralls?
You: Yeah
You: Well, I am also french
You: I R TEH AMERICAN
Stranger: Oh, sweet, a portion of my country belongs to you guys
Stranger: We call it Alberta.
Stranger: I dont know what you guys call it.
You: Never heard of it. :O
You: Are you a terrorist?
Stranger: Not surprised
Stranger: I would like to think of myself as more of a master in the art of exploitation
Stranger: not a terrorist.
You: Oh
You: Man, I would love to keep this up
You: But my sleep pills are kicking in
Stranger: Well sleep tight and the game.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--------------------------------

Stranger: hey
You: Hi
You: Do yopu like daps?
Stranger: yah...?
You: What is your favorite use of dap?
Stranger: what should it be?
You: Idk, I am not you. D:
Stranger: whats yours?
You: I like cover 66 you haul daps
Stranger: im confused
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

----------------------------------

You: kittens
Stranger: Sex kittens
You: puppies
Stranger: Mud puppies
You: MudKip
Stranger: Wild ABRA uses teleport!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-----------------------------------

You: I am a pokemon
Stranger: thats cool
You: Will you be my trainer?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[invrse]

You: DEATH TO DEMOCRACY!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[unknown]

You: (insert link to goatse here)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Loli]

You: hi
Stranger: yo
You: i'm young black and i don't give a fuck
Stranger: yeah nigga
Stranger: what hood u from cuh
You: yo wassup nigga
You: yea yea im from da hills
You: REPRESENT
Stranger: nigga get specifix
You: no nigga when i say im from da hills
You: i mean im from da hills
Stranger: im frum e/s kelly park compton crip
Stranger: what hills niggs
Stranger: a tg from 1600 blocc
You: hills in kansas nigga
Stranger: fucc kansas
You: yea no shit
Stranger: cali
Stranger: im bangin on u nigga
Stranger: now what
You: yea i got a job nigga
You: now what
Stranger: fuck a job
Stranger: trap money
Stranger: 3000 a day
You: yo nigga you so full of shit
Stranger: ar 15s body vest all dat
You: word?
Stranger: fuck yo nigga im serious
You: nigga u is a ninja
Stranger: we at the car wash errday
Stranger: slangin
Stranger: yayo
You: yo we at da farm nigga
Stranger: we got a hood in cpt
You: we be ballin in dem tracters on sum 30s
You: dig?
Stranger: called farm dog compton crip
Stranger: 30s on dem john deeres?
You: hell yea nigga
Stranger: nigga we will jacc yall
Stranger: brake em up cuh
You: you niggas aint got shit man
Stranger: fuck yall
You: yo riced out shit dont fly
Stranger: we dont ride rice cuh]
Stranger: 07 rovers
Stranger: bently coupes
You: you niggas aint
You: got
You: shit
Stranger: yukons nigga
Stranger: we got mo den yall
Stranger: fuck kansas
You: bullshit
Stranger: in the middle of bumfucc no where
You: 69 challenger nigga
Stranger: gimme yo addy
Stranger: fuck dat
You: aint
You: got
You: shit
You: on
You: me
Stranger: 09 challenger nigga
Stranger: what uh
You: that aint shit
You: 0-60
You: in
You: 3
Stranger: yes it is nigga
You: point
You: 2
You: seconds
Stranger: yeah right
You: NIGGA
Stranger: haha
Stranger: NIGGA
Stranger: gimme yo addy
You: aint got one for ghetto niggas
You: dig?
Stranger: yeah right hoe
You: yo wanna hear a joke nigga?
Stranger: 16328 S Harris ave
Stranger: no look it up
Stranger: compton california
You: i'm a white jew from new york
You: sup
Stranger: nigga fuck u
You: catch you on the road
Stranger: im calling u out
You: i'll bomb on you west coast niggas
Stranger: you got my addy come on bitch
Stranger: fuck yeast toast
You: nah
You: but black and blue is on their way
You: ha ha
Stranger: 16328 s harris ave
Stranger: snitch
Stranger: fuck u hoe
You: yo hide yo WEED
You: nigga
Stranger: o shit feds out my door
Stranger: nigga
Stranger: i gotts runn
Stranger: i got H nigga
You: NIGGA HIDE YO WEED
Stranger: shit!!!!
Stranger: FREEZE!!!!
Stranger: hands up
You: THE PIGGIES ARE COMEING
Stranger: !!
Stranger: ahhhh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Waig]

Stranger: 23 m
You: you have
You: a big dick
You: ?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: do u have deep pussy?
You: no, i'm 12
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: then
Stranger: bye
You: my ass is deep though
Stranger: u r very small
You: so is yo dik nigga
You: dont front
You: CHEA
Stranger: chea?
You: yeah you know like chex mix
You: for niggers
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

palmy says: loli, you better credit me

[xteriormotive]

Stranger: i
Stranger: hi
You: If I asked you the question Caterpillar Surprise what would your response be?
Stranger: fuck off
You: The correct answer was green but I guess I can accept fuck off.
Stranger: yessss
Stranger: thank u so much
You: CONGRATULATIONS YOU WIN! Courtesy of our sponser...
You: THE SATISFACTION OF WINNING!!!
You: Greg show the contestant their prize...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

AND THEN...

You: Stranger: i
Stranger: hi
You: If I asked you the question Caterpillar Surprise what would your response be?
Stranger: fuck off
You: The correct answer was green but I guess I can accept fuck off.
Stranger: yessss
Stranger: thank u so much
You: CONGRATULATIONS YOU WIN! Courtesy of our sponser...
You: THE SATISFACTION OF WINNING!!!
You: Greg show the contestant their prize...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You:
Stranger: o.0
Stranger: that's a great conversation
You: yeah
You: I was dissapointed
You: but moreso greg than myself
You: He didn't get to show them thier prize.
Stranger: that's unfortunate
You: It was an upsetting 5 minutes to say the least.
Stranger: but I thought the price of winning was the satisfaction of winning?
Stranger: how do you get moreprizes?
Stranger: that short ass conversation took five minutes?
You: It was more of an eplanation of the prize in detail
You: That was more due to the other person taking a while to reply than the conversation itself
Stranger: yea, probably was a lamo and couldn't think of what to say
You: Indeed.
Stranger: I would've just given you a trip to the slutcave, in the hoe-mobile
You: That sounds like a most excellent prize.
You: Unfortunately our budjet didn't stretch that far.
You: Do ya think he would have stayed if that were the prize?
You: budget*
Stranger: ......probably
Stranger: knowing people on the internet
You: True.
Stranger: being one myself o.0
Stranger: and you too
You: Indeed.
Stranger: so how are you?
Stranger: answer correctly
You: I am most excellent on this the evening of Monday the 20th of july 2009.
You: Perhaps though I divulged too much information for this early on in our relationship.
You: Instead I shall re-iterate and explain that I am indeed grand.
You: And yourself?
You: I shall unfortunately take your lack of rsponse as a sign of disinterest and it is with great sadness that I shall bid you good day.

___________________________________

Stranger: hello
You: Howdy Doody.
Stranger: my name is ferhat
You: My name is not.
Stranger: how
You: That is to say that my name is not not but that my name is not Ferhat.
You: How do you do?
Stranger: what is your name?
You: My name shall remain a mystery for the duration of this conversation or until such time as I see fit to reveal it to you.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what is natıonail
Stranger: m or f sor
You: I am but a man.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[LiquidFire]

Stranger: hi
You: Help!
You: I'm in North Korea
Stranger: help you with what?
You: the dogs are after me
Stranger: okay that's just bull.
You: no
You: seriously

[one]

Stranger: hi
You: Its a trap!
Stranger: Why
You: Go get away as long as you can.
You: They are scanning your computer right now.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

You: I can see you
Stranger: no you can't
Stranger:
You: Look behind you!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Stranger: am 18 / m london looking for females to sex chat with webcam in msn
You: Hi Kevin.
You: So you can't get laid in real life?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stranger: ｈｅｌｌｏ
You: Howdy, pal, ma name is Jim Bob, let me git me gun now.
Stranger: im janese
Stranger: in
You: Konichiwa
Stranger: japan
You:
Stranger: oh
Stranger: well
You: YOU ARE NOT
You: seriously, dont bullshit me bro
You: its not very Kawaii
You: Moshi moshi
You have disconnected.

[ftw_59]

BOARD RULES VIOLATION

[one]

Stranger: im mail
You: then who was phone?
Stranger: i killed him
You: BUT WHO WAS HE?
Stranger: my cousin
You: so phone was the cousin of mail?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: and email is my stepbro
You: YOU ARE A SICK MAN!
Stranger: i know : (
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[jefftheworld]

You: D/S/L
Stranger: uhh
You: Lol.
Stranger: D?
You: Stands for Digital.
You: Dsl = Digital subscriber line.
Stranger: sure beats asl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


------------------------------------------------


Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: how are you?
You: asl?
You: what does that mean?
You: im new here
Stranger: asl
Stranger: adress
Stranger: sex
Stranger: location
Stranger: asl
You: adress?
Stranger: age
Stranger: dlaak
Stranger: age
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: age
You: 15, female, basement?
Stranger: basement?
Stranger: fuck
You: you said L was location
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


------------------------------------------------


Stranger: hi
You: I know it's you!
You: Carmen!
You: I'm know you're Carmen Sandiego!
You: Don't lie!
You: Where the FUCK are you now!
You: I will trace your computer logs if I have to!
You: YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE COCAINE!
Your conversational partner has gone to a country known for it's sugar cane production. Can you solve the puzzle before it's too late?

-----------------------------------

Stranger: Hey
You: sUP?
You: Whoops.
You: Fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


-------------------------


You: http://omegle.com/
Stranger: ....
Stranger: Haha, wow.
You: What?
Stranger: I am there... now what?
You: Oh.,
You: See, my ad worked!
Stranger: haha, wow..... nice.
You: So, like the site?
Stranger: Probably the only one that does.
You: I made it myself.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


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Stranger: Female with webcam?
You: Male without life?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


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Stranger: 22/m/usa
You: 22/m/USA
You: : D
You: Twins!
You have disconnected.


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You: Hey!
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Where are u from
You: Toronto.
You: I designed google, you know.
Stranger: Cool
You: I have a lot of money.
Stranger: Really
You: Yeah, cause I designed google.
You: And the internet in general.
You: Most pages are mine.
Stranger: Well why are u on this site if ur eich
You: Like 50...like...80%.
You: Cause I designed it.
You: I'm making sure it's still working.
You: It seems to be working great.
Stranger: Well there is alot of spam
You: Yeah, that's pretty recent, too.
You: I was pretty upset.
You: Because it was my own spam algorithm being used against me.
You: I'm working on a fix.
Stranger: Good thanks
You: So, what about you?
You: Famous for anything?
Stranger: No not yet
You: Oh, you should invent something.
You: Like the bicycle.
You: That would be rad.
Stranger: Ha
Stranger: Yes it would
Stranger: Well I'm going to bed. So later
You: I invented the bed, too.
You: Totally.
You: It was like...my first...or...my fifth, invention.
You: I made a million dollers.
You: Or like...400 million dollars on that one.
You: I bought my first 12 yaughts with that money.
You: I've got like...200 yaughts.
Stranger: Your a reallly good bullshitter
You: Really, it's closer to 400.
You: But I say 200, cause I round down.
You: You know.
Stranger: Yeah I do
You: How many do you have?
Stranger: 3
You: Oh, cool.
You: That's cool.
You: You invent anything yet?
You: Like that bike thing.
Stranger: Nope. Bye
You: Or...cause...otherwise I'm going to invent it.
You: Cool?
You: I don't want to steel...or...steal your invention...or...you know.
You: But if you're cool, I'm going for it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You: Hey Margrett, I'm home from the mill.
You: Is dinner ready?
Stranger: ......
Stranger: I ate your wife
Stranger: And your kids
Stranger: And im gonna kill you too.
You: How does this internet thing work.
You: Where's margrett?
You: I'm trying to talk to Marge!
You: Patch me trhough.
Stranger: Im also gonna roast you.
You: Operator?
You: HELLO?
You: HELLO?
Stranger: faggot
You have disconnected.